lost in translation: ouagadougou

i loved Lost in Translation. bill murray's greatness aside, it does a good job of capturing the sense of displacement, boredom and loneliness of business travel in foreign countries.


everyday i go from hotel to office to fancy restaurant for lunch to office to hotel to fancy restaurant for dinner to hotel. go to bed but lie awake unable to sleep for most of the night. getup. begin previous day's routine all over again. Lost in Translation meets Groundhog's Day, that's my life.


this is my second trip to ouaga for work. the novelty of being here wore off towards the end of my first trip, so now i'm counting the days until i get back home. this place isn't beautiful or charming. there aren't touristy sites or big, fun markets. i manage to get around only because i have a driver and a copy of a Rough Guide to West Africa. i really miss having a Lonely Planet right now. the LP is hugely flawed and i think it's been getting progressively worse each year but it's a reliable source of information about weird and quirky places that tickle the writer's fancy as well as the must-see tourist attractions. you can tell a lot about the writers of the Lonely Planet from the random details they focus on and their idiosyncratic writing. not so much with the Rough Guide.

adventures in egypt: hurghada

my last week is egypt actually felt like a real vacation - get up, put on bikini, hop on boat and scuba dive. i had nothing to plan or think about other than whether or not i had enough oxygen while staring at beautiful fish. there was a total of 6 of us in hurghada (friends joined us from finland and amsterdam) and we stayed at the Zahabia Hotel & Resort for about 85 euros/person for a week. it wasn't luxurious but it was nice.

the beaches in hurghada are not great. i would only go there to snorkel or dive. if you want to dive, check our Red Sea Divers. they are located at Zahabia Beach, which is why we stayed at the hotel across the street. the owners are german but they speak english really well and reply quickly to e-mails. my favorite diver master was Alona. she was sweet, patient and cautious but fun, all the things you want in a diver master.

hurghada is a resorty town built for tourists but, unlike sharm el-sheikh, it is built for egyptian tourists as well as foreigners, so you can find food that caters to both groups. there are lots of fast food and "international" cuisine restaurants that serve burgers, pizza, spaghetti, etc. and i ended up at a few of those places because my friends had sensitive stomachs and didn't want to go to egyptian places. however, my favorite places were El Mina (for seafood) and Al Masry (for classic egyptian food). El Mina has a few locations in Hurghada but the one i went to (El Nasser Street, across from the post office) is reputed to be the best.

in the LP's Food&Drink section, there's a nondescript reference to hamam (pigeon stuffed with spiced rice) as being extremely popular. thanks to my egyptian dive master, i discovered why. he said that egyptians considered hamam to be "like viagra" and that men often eat this dish for weeks before their weddings. when i asked what happens to women who eat hamam, i got a sheepish shrug. i should have known better than to ask a muslim man what happens to a woman's sex drive but, what can i say, i like to be provocative. as you can imagine, there isn't a lot of meat on a pigeon but hamam is supposed to be made with very young birds whose bones are still soft, and egyptians eat the whole damn thing - bird, stuffing and bones! i tried to eat my little viagra bird bones and all but, i admit, i spit out a few. and to preempt the inevitable question - yes, it tastes like chicken.

adventures in egypt: luxor

days 5-8 were spent in luxor. today is day 9 and we're leaving to go to hurghada in a few hours. yay! scuba diving!!!

luxor is a tiny little town. the east bank, which is where most of the hotels are, is the "city". the west bank is mostly ruins and farmland for growing corn, sugar cane and sesame. luxor is a huge tourist destination. it's bit like cambodia's siem reap. there are numerous temples and ruins to visit over a multiple-kilometer radius and it takes about 3-4 days to visit most of them.

what i've been wondering is where does all the money generated by tourism go? there are plenty of hotels, ranging from very nice to decent, and one really nice, small museum, the Luxor Museum. otherwise, this town is a shit hole. and i don't think the crappiness stems from lack of resources. i think it stems from disregard. but by whom? the government? the local community? not sure. something about this place just doesn't feel right to me. none of the income generated by the tourism industry is getting invested back into the town. buildings that appear to have caved-in on themselves or were abandoned in mid-construction are everywhere. power is definitely not reliable. and other than major arteries, roads aren't paved.

this doesn't make sense. on the whole, this town is definitely making money. given the lack of maintenance of most of the ruins, the entry fees for places are high. the hotels employ a lot of people. also, the tourist-prices for everything from a can of soda to the toilet paper at public restroom are ridiculous. i've been to a lot of places but i've never had to haggle as much as i've had to do in egypt. it is such an annoyance not only because every single transaction requires haggling, but because haggling takes longer than usual since the prices that the locals start off with are so absurbly high (e.g., they'll start off at 50 EGP and go down to 5 EGP; just imagine how many rounds this takes). i'm sure that there are other places in the world that are as bad but until i get there, egypt wins my biggest-pain-in-the-ass prize.

all of that said (and i'm sure that tourists who stay within the confines of their plush hotels and/or have had to pay only one fat tourist-price for their package tour have a very different impression of luxor and egypt), i still think luxor is worth a visit. during the last few days, i went to the Luxor Temple (definitely go during the day and night), Karnak, Luxor Museum, Mummification Museum (a bit of a rip-off), Temple of Seti I, Valley of the Kings (where you can see the tomb of Tutankhamun, aka King Tut), Deir al-Bahri (mortuary of Hatshepsut, the woman who ruled as both a female queen and as a male pharoah, who has been recently getting a lot of press (photo shown)), Ramesseum, Deir al-Medina (tombs of commoners and a Ptolemaic temple) and Medina Habu. There are plenty of other places to visit but i've reached ruins-overload and decided to stop rather than force any more history down my throat. it's an amazing collection of sights densely clustered within the outskirts of one little town.

as for food, El Zaeem is good for egyptian food. you can eat in (they have good A/C!) or get take out. Oasis is a really cute place i went to for dessert (crepes) and a drink and i think it'd be a great option for non-egyptian fare. go there if you're craving good service and a mellow atmosphere with your meal (because you're not going to find that in most egyptian places).

adventures in egypt: giza

day 4 - giza at last!

after stopping briefly for a tour of a mosque in the City of the Dead, which was built to be a city of tombs but has become a city of squatters, we were off to the pyramids at Giza.

papichulo and i got on a pair of camels, which were walked by one guy and kicked along by another guy on a horse from the town of Giza all the way to the outer perimeter of the pyramids area. they wanted us to experience the grand effect of riding to the pyramids from the desert. this sounds more fun than it was. i've always wanted to ride camels in the desert near the pyramids but i have to admit that those smelly beasts are not fun to ride. my inner thighs have been hurting for the last 4 days. perhaps a 10 minute camel rental near the pyramids for a photo op would have been better.

there are 3 big pyramids at Giza but only is called the "Great Pyramid". it was surreal to be there and think about how old those structures were and how incredibly massive they were. you can enter the 2 largest pyramids but for some weird reason our guides kept telling us that the Great Pyramid was not worth visiting because it was identical to the Secondary Pyramid and much more expensive. if you're ever there and anyone tells you this, don't believe. it's total nonsense. the Great Pyramid is much more impressive inside than the other.

that evening i decided to go eatery hopping around the ghetto hood near the hotel for dinner. the first place i tried was the International Public Meal Kushari, which serves only kushari. i had no idea what kushari was, so i just sat down and prayed it wasn't brains (which has been on a few menus here). instead of providing a menu, the waiter just yelled, "2 pounds?! 3 pounds?!" initially, i thought, "pounds of food?" but as light bulb went on (duh...cost!), i yelled back "2 pounds!" within minutes, he brought me a bowl containing a mixture of rice, macaroni, spaghetti noodles and vermicelli with layers of lentils and fried onions on top. the atkins nightmare. on the side, there's a small bowl of heavily spiced tomato sauce. i watched how other people ate their kushari before digging in and copied - pour tomato sauce over the mixture, add hot sauce and vinegar from the bottles on the table, mix everything together, then eat! all this for 2 EGP. that's about 35 cents. after kushari, i went across the street to Akher Sa'a for falafel, which is called ta'amiyya in egypt. for 1.75 EGP i got tourshy, pickles, and a pita filled with a falafel patty the size of a small hamburger, shredded cucumbers and carrots, tomatoes and tahini. i like the large-sized patties a lot more than the little balls because there's less deep fried surface area and more moist chick pea. i finished off my neighborhood food tour at the awha across the street from the hotel to have shai na'na, mint tea.

adventures in egypt: cairo religious day

day 3 was what we deemed our religious day.

we took the metro to Coptic Cairo in the morning. from what i've been able to piece together, "Coptic" is what you call egyptian christians. coptic cairo is a walled, fortress-like area that contains a museum, several churches and a synagogue (Ben Ezra Synagogue)! the story is that the christians needed money so they sold an old church to the jews. this is funny to me.

after walking the streets that mary, joseph and baby jesus walked, we went to islamic cairo. the Al-Azhar Mosque is beautiful and peaceful, as all houses of worship are, but this place is also a learning center that attracts islam scholars from all over. in addition to locals, i saw many southeast asians there.

the mosque is across the street from the labrynth of streets and vendors known as Khan Al-Khalili, which is a huge bazaar. i normally LOVE bazaars and flea markets because you can find really cool and wacky stuff or, in asia, great knock-offs for cheap prices. so it's significant that i really hated this place. this is nothing but a huge tourist trap. most of the stuff for sale is total crap.

there are a number of ahwas (cafes) in Khan Al-Khalili where you can smoke sheesha and drink tea and other tasty beverages (i really like limoon - fresh lemonade - and karkadai - a hibiscus drink). the most famous one is El Fishawy, which i thought would have become a cheesey touristy spot by now but is suprisingly cool. somehow, despite the busloads of tourists that come here, the locals also hang here, too. once the mid-day sun has passed and the breeze is blowing, it is such a great spot to relax. i think my favorite thing about egypt, other than the big sites, is the ahwa culture. men (some women, but mostly men) gather for hours in awhas to chat, drink, smoke, read, etc. no one ever rushes you to leave. i like places where people go to doing nothing but chill for as long as they want.

adventures in egypt: south of cairo

on day 2, papichulo and i went to the ruins at saqqara (or sakkara), dahshur and memphis. saqqara and dahshur provide good background knowledge of how the egyptian tomb-building evolved from low, trapedoidal stone-shaped tombs (mastabas) to the great pyramids at Giza. memphis is essentially an open-air museum with stone sculptures. it's entirely skippable. hotel windsor provided a mini-van driver to take us to all three sites and back for $15/person. this is slightly more than what the LP states as the usual price but well worth it.

at saqqara, you can see mastabas and the Step Pyramid, egypt's and the world's first stone monument. the Step Pyramid is a pre-pyramid pyramid. back in 2650 b.c., Imhotep had gotten the idea to keep building layers on top of the mastaba into the classic pyramid shape but he hadn't figured out the stone configuration yet. later, with the Bent Pyramid at dahshur, they started experimenting a bit, so the incline of the sides of the pyramids suddenly drops mid-way up. wacky experiment when you consider the scale of that project. finally, the egyptians got it right with the Red Pyramid at dahshur, the world's oldest "true pyramid".

if you're ever at saqqara and want to have lunch nearby, check out Restaurant Pharous (i think that's how it's spelled). it immediately outside the gate to the site. this has been one of my favorite meals in egypt and the decor of this place is really charming. tables with umbrellas are set out in a large green yard dotted with palm trees. it feels like an oasis. we got the mixed grill (kofta, chicken and veggies) which came with yogurt & cucumber, baba ghanouj, tomato & cucumber salad, sauteed potatoes, dolmades (except a highly spice rice mixture is stuffed into a pepper, zucchini and tomato instead of grape leaves), and rice. delicious. the mixed grill for 2 people cost 120 EGP (about $21).

ouagadouou

in case you didn't know, ouagadougou is the capital city of burkina faso and a really fun word to say over and over. if you're down with burkina faso, you call it "ouaga".

i was there a few weeks ago and stayed at the hotel mercure silmande, which is probably one of the most expensive places to stay in ouaga but don't assume that expensive means luxurious. the amenities at an average best western are probably nicer than the silmande's but the staff was nice and a fashion show was held there (where miss burkina faso and miss sahel would be in attendance). business travel to ouaga is amazingly similar to business travel anywhere else in that i spent the majority of my time in conference rooms talking about work. when i did break free, i had a few decent meals and found another mask to add to my collection.

if you see something cool you want to buy on the street, negotiate and buy it. i went to the Village Artisanal, which is one of two state-run textile and crafts markets and found the selection to be worse than what i saw on the street. since the state takes a 10% commission on all sales made in the market, few vendors want to sell there.

here are a few places you shouldn't miss if you ever make it to ouagadougou:

- Espace Gondwana - Bar, Restaurant, Galerie: i had dinner here and was completely enchanted by this place from the minute i stepped into its garden. the food is quite good by any standard (mostly french and moroccan-esque) but the vibe is gondwana's true asset. in addition to its interior dining room, there is a courtyard/garden with low stools and tables that could also function as daybeds. you eat by candlelight, under starlight and sitting next to trees. if i had been with a boy instead of 3 co-workers, it would have been wicked, wicked romantic. gondwana is decorated with paintings, sculptures, masks and other interesting artifacts and EVERYTHING you see is on sale. i wouldn't recommend buying anything there because it's overpriced but it is a good place to get an idea for what you'd like to buy elsewhere.

- Le Coq Bleu: this is considered to be one of the best french restaurants in ouaga. i considered it to be OK but i think that's probably very good by ouaga standards. it was fancy and full of expats and visitors. the capitaine (a local fish) was good here.

- the makeshift bars across the street from the airport: the night i left i was informed by my burkinabe counterpart that the locals engage in a ritual before flights and that i must carry out the tradition. burkinabe go to the airport early, check-in and then go drink beers and eat brochette across the street ("across the street" means the row of tented tables on the street directly front of the airport's parking lot). what could i do? across the street i went. initially, i was a bit reluctant to eat the brochette, which are pieces of street meat skewered onto twigs (not exaggerating), grilled and served with a mustard sauce and seasoned salt. i was about to get on a plane and the possibility of spending the entire flight in a microscopic bathroom did pass through my mind. but i threw some seasoned salt over my shoulder, drank burkinabe beer and ate the brochette. know what?! brochette is great. really, really great. the street meat turned out to be pieces of beef and beef sausage. both were savory and delicious and the mustard sauce and spicy seasoned salt added another layer of flavor. these were ideal beer snacks and the next time i'm in burkina, i'll be looking for them everywhere. street food is the best.